Tear You Apart
by hayleyislost
Summary: Eli finds himself caught up in Julia. But what will happen when Julia selfishly takes all that away? And when Eli finds someone new? Rated M because one chapter will be a bit morbid.
1. Extraordinary Girl

_Hello everyone! Here is Chapter 1 of my first fanfic. This chapter is appropriately called "Extraordinary Girl". Please, please, please review! I have to know what you, my readers, think before I do something kind of crazy with Julia. I promise this will be an Eclare fanfic a little later, i just wanted to give you a glimpse into Eli's dark past._

_I do not own Degrassi, just my ideas for this story. :)_

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"Meet me at the park in 20. Usual place."

Eli read the text from Julia, shut his phone with his middle and forefinger and shoved his hands in his pockets, shrugging. He had twenty minutes of alone time. Twenty minutes of silence without Julia's constant whining. Aimlessly wandering the outskirts of the neighborhood park, he allowed himself to get caught up in the thought: _Julia._

From the moment their eyes met, he thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world. Her ravenous hair, her eyes that were dark but inviting; Julia was irresistible to Eli. Everything about her from the perfect curvature of her wine-colored lips to her slender frame to her milky white skin drew him in.

Eli had admired her from afar before she took notice. Her beauty was enticing; her presence, intoxicating. He loved her before he had ever spoken a word to her but he cursed the day he did.

It was at a party at the house of some jock whose name he had long forgotten. But not forgotten was his motive for going to the party in the first place. On any other occasion, Eli wouldn't have been caught dead at a high school party, a "rager" as the partygoers foolishly nicknamed them. The mass of white-rimmed red cups, the sloppy drunk girls with their hair over to one side and their arms hooked around the neck of a friend: it wasn't his scene. But this time was different. He had heard in the mindless gossip of the school hallways that Julia was going to be there.

When he arrived at the party, he was greeted by at least a dozen of his drunk classmates. He ignored them, sitting himself down on the beer-stained, tacky corduroy couch in the living room, hoping to spot Julia amongst the dirty, wasted imbeciles that were all he could see as he scanned the crowd.

He sat patiently with his fingers intertwined, twiddling his thumbs in a ridiculous fashion. Just when he began to give up hope, he spotted a small, dark figure in his peripheral. It was Julia.

She was dressed in a long-sleeved, velvet black dress that hugged her slim figure and was just short enough to expose her thighs. A black ribbon held her hair in a low ponytail, and a small heart locket rested perfectly on the neckline of her dress. Her lips were painted red to match her patent leather heels. She was nothing short of beautiful, and Eli couldn't help but stare.

Eli suddenly broke out of his trance when the siren began to approach him. He was alarmed when she sat herself next to him, weighing down the cushion of the couch. Eli wanted to retreat at that instant, but he couldn't bring himself to do so. The mirage in front of him was just too beautiful. And she smelled so… so good.

"He-ey" she slurred, the sweet smell of her breath was laced with heavy doses of alcohol.

"Um…um…hi. Are you drunk?" he couldn't believe that was all he could manage to say to the girl he was sure he'd loved for weeks.

"You're not?" she replied, the corners of her mouth turning up in a small smile. She scrunched her nose. "Nevermind that. You're Eli right?"

"Yeah. Hi. I've um… I've definitely seen you around before but I can't seem to put my finger on your name. Care to refresh my memory?" He smirked. _Good one Eli_. He thought to himself. _Way to play it cool._

"I'm Julia. We're in Math Analysis together." She held her hand out to shake his, but when he hesitated, she moved her hand back down to rest on her thigh.

Julia cleared her throat, probably in an attempt to break the silence between them. Eli looked down at her leg to where the hem of her dress met her thigh then up to her dark eyes.

She giggled, clearly noticing he was staring. Eli looked down at the ugly fabric underneath them and blushed. Julia lifted her legs onto the couch, positioning herself cross-legged on the cushion and leaned forward closer to Eli.

"Eli" she said shyly and looked up into his eyes. "I know we don't really know each other, but can I ask you something? And you have to _promise _you'll answer me honestly."

"Yeah, sure. I, I promise." He hoped his nervousness was not apparent in his voice. He sensed an air of vulnerability in Julia's voice, but her flirtatiousness was unmistakable and it was driving him crazy.

Her eyes began to water slightly as she placed a hand on his shoulder and asked "Eli, do you think I'm pretty. Don't lie!" Her eyes met his again and he noticed she was beginning to tear up. Something was obviously wrong but he knew it wasn't his position to ask her. He was momentarily lost in her eyes when he remembered she had asked him something.

Discouraged by his hesitation, Julia looked down and away from Eli and a tear rolled town her cheek and splattered when it hit her bare leg. Eli reached his hand out and lifted her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. She bit her lip in response.

"You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen." He finally gave his reply.

Julia gave him a small smile and instinctually wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace. Eli reciprocated, moving his arms around her waist. He felt her hot tears on his shoulder, and wrapped his arms tighter around her, hoping his touch was somewhat consoling. At that moment he realized that he was hugging the girl of his dreams, except she was nothing like he imagined her to be. Julia was not the exuberant bubbly girl who practically skipped down the hallways everyday to class. That was the Julia that Eli thought he knew. Instead, the girl before him was weak, vulnerable and dependent on him. He liked it.

As Julia pulled away from his tight hold, she looked up at his face in an attempt to read his expression. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and let out a small sniffle.

"You, you really know how to make a girl feel better." She mumbled, not breaking her gaze with Eli.

A multitude of thoughts began to flood Eli's head, a majority of them animalistic. Here was this beautiful, vulnerable girl in front of him. The girl he'd fallen in love with without even knowing her: the goddess Julia, only slightly less perfect. Even with her red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks, she was beautiful and he couldn't help himself.

He slowly moved his hands to the back of her head, untying the ribbon that held her hair up. He watched her beautiful black locks slowly fall below her shoulders. Tangling his fingers in her hair, he pulled her closer. He looked down at her perfectly shaped lips, from which the red stain had long since washed away, then back up at her eyes, and back to her lips, waiting for some kind of signal from her. Within moments, she lunged forward closing the gap between them. Eli instinctually wrapped his arms around her waist, following Julia's lead as she slowly deepened the kiss. Julia parted her lips slightly, allowing Eli to move his tongue slowly into her mouth. Eli moved his hands from her hips to her thighs, drawing small circles with his fingers as the kiss quickly became more eager. Julia must have been looking for some sort of consolation for whatever it was that had caused her to cry, because with each moment, the passion in her kiss with Eli grew, and they became more and more heated. Eli felt his acid wash jeans tighten as Julia moved her hands into his hair, pulling, and kissing him hungrily.

Eli lost himself that night somewhere in the feverish bliss that was their kiss. What had began as an innocent attempt to console the girl he had admired for so long quickly turned into something more. He loved her passionately and he could not help but think of the things he wanted to do to her.

Eli had no idea what he was getting himself into.


	2. Author's Note

Hello everyone! Thanks so much to everyone who read/favorited my first chapter! But I still would love to get some reviews from you guys!

Also, this is the song that inspired the title for the whole story:

Tear You Apart- She Wants Revenge

And the first chapter:

Extraordinary Girl- Green Day (Sorry the YouTube links weren't working so just type those in YouTube to listen!)

So today (October 18) I'm a little busy filling out college apps and what not and I kind of have writer's block BUT I will hopefully post a new chapter by tomorrow!

Hopefully the "morbid" chapter won't be until the third chapter but I still don't know where I want to go with Julia. What do you guys think?


	3. Scars

The memories from the party that night so long ago flooded Eli's mind and began to make him feel dizzy. He bent over, hands on his knees to catch his breath and let the blood flow back into his head. As soon as he snapped out of his trance, he noticed that he had wandered to the tree in the heart of the park where he and Julia had spent so many long nights looking up at the stars and contemplating their existence.

"Eli, do you ever wonder why we were put here on this earth?" she would say. "I mean, look. There is a huge universe up there, and were just one small part of it, so why do we even matter?"

Eli never knew what to say to her when she went on tangents about absolutely nothing. Julia tended to drink away her troubles, so he usually figured it was just the alcohol talking. He liked to rest under the tree with his arm around her, fingers twisting strands of her just listening to the sound of her voice. He filtered out the ridiculous things she said when she was tipsy, but even when her words slurred together, she had the voice of an angel.

Eli took his phone out of his pocket and checked the time again.

6:20

Ten more minutes until Julia would meet him. He leaned against the tree and traced with his fingers the place where Julia had carved her name. He admired the deep cuts in the bark and loved how they reminded him of Julia. Like that tree, she was beautiful, but she her deep scars and dark insides flawed her existence. Just like all the pressures of the world had made their mark on Julia, Julia made her mark on that tree.

He flashed back to time he discovered the first of Julia's innermost secrets.

Eli was just about to leave for Julia's house on their one month anniversary, and he called to let her know he was on his way.

The phone rang multiple times before Julia's voice echoed on the other end of the line "Hello?"she answered sounding flustered.

"Julia. It's Eli. I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Okay." she replied. Eli was just about to hang up and turn on the ignition of his car when he heard muffled sobs.

"Are you okay? You sound like you're crying." he said.

"No, I'm fine." she lied "I'm excited to see you." she tried to cover up her pain.

"Alright. See you soon. Bye." he hung up.

He turned the key in his car and backed out of the driveway. When he reached the main road, he floored the engine, hoping he would get to Julia's a little faster. He knew something was wrong, and if he didn't get there fast enough, she would be able to conceal all the evidence. Ten minutes to Julia's house. That was just enough time for her wipe her tears, touch up her makeup, and preserve the façade of her seemingly happy life. Eli knew there was more to Julia than the fake smile she plastered on her face in front of all her friends. Although he had never asked, there was a reason she was crying that night at the party.

Eli pulled into Julia's driveway, and, all in one move, pulled the key out of the ignition, opened the driver-side door and grabbed his bag. He didn't want to waste a single moment. He pushed the front door open, slung his backpack over his shoulder and paraded toward Julia's room. When she wasn't there, he checked the next room; her bathroom.

When he opened the bathroom door, he found exactly what he was looking for: Julia leaned against the maple wood cabinets below the marble sink with black tears falling down her flushed cheeks.

Startled by Eli, Julia jumped up, grabbed a towel from the floor to her right and covered her left arm.

"Eli! Y-you're early!" she cried.

"Julia! What are you doing?" he yelled as he pulled away the rag she held to her arm, exposing the deep, bloody scars on her wrists.

"N-n-nothing." She muttered as she stood up to face Eli. When she did this, a small razor blade fell from her lap and onto the floor with an echoing clank.

"Don't lie to me!" he hissed. He threw out his arm and clenched her elbow, bringing her bloody arm closer to his face.

"Why are you doing this?" his voice softened as tears began to form in his eyes.

"I knew you were screwed up, but cutting yourself? Really? That's how you choose to deal with your pain?" Eli choked. He couldn't believe the girl he had sacrificed everything to love was selfishly risking everything they had built together. He saw each cut in her arm as a wound to their crippled relationship.

"Do you want to kill yourself, Julia?" he felt his cheeks flush and his whole body became hot. He didn't want to scream at her like he was, but he couldn't understand why Julia would ever want to hurt herself. It made him irrepressibly angry.

"N-no. I, I just… Sometimes I just feel so alone. Like I could jump of a bridge and no one would give a damn. I don't want to die, Eli, It just…just feels good to feel that pain. It's like I have control over something. And I like to think that maybe if I DID die, people would care a little more about me." Julia began sobbing uncontrollably until her shoulders began to shake and her entire body began to spasm.

"Dammit Julia!" Eli barked "Isn't it enough that I love you?"

Eyes swollen and cheeks stained with tears, Julia looked up at Eli with childlike innocence. "Eli…I'm…so…sorry" she sobbed as she collapsed into his arms.

He wrapped one arm tightly around her waist and moved the other to her head, where he began stroking her silky black hair. He held her tight, as if he could somehow squeeze the pain away. She relaxed in his arms, but Eli knew he was only temporary consolation, for Julia's emotional scars were deeper than a simple embrace could cure. They stood there for some time enveloped in each other's arms.

Eli felt remorse for the way he had reacted, and for losing his temper with Julia, but he felt there was no other way to get through to her. He loved her more than she would ever be able to understand and he couldn't stand the thought of losing her.

"I'll always love you, Eli" she cried into his shoulder.

All Eli could do was hold her tighter.

"You too, Julia." He muttered.


	4. True Affection

_This Chapter is dedicated to madamedegrassi96, even though she's probably dead asleep right now! 3_

_It's raining here, so I was inspired to write this. I love rain. I had my first kiss in the rain. Rain helps me sleep. It's just amazing... so yeah! Sorry I haven't updated in FOREVER, Senior Year has been pretty hard to keep up with!_

_Please Read & Review! _

_:)_

_3, Much Love, Hayley_

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As Eli sat with his back leaned up against the tree, he looked up to the sky, to the branches on the very top of the tree, and felt a small droplet of water hit his forehead. Then another fell to his cheek, and he wiped it away before it rolled down. Within moments it had started pouring, and Eli pulled the hood of his jacket over his head and sprinted to the gazebo in the center of the park.

Once he found refuge beneath the structure, he sat himself on one of the small benches in the corner and buried his head in his hands. He began to listen to the rain pouring on the roof of the gazebo, and he was engulfed in its beautiful melodies. _Pitter, patter. Pitter, patter._ It hummed. Eli lost himself in a trance and suddenly forgot all his inhibitions.

Eli couldn't think of a fonder memory that he and Julia shared than the day they danced together in the rain. It was a week after Eli found Julia in the bathroom cutting her arms, and Julia had just called Eli to come over.

When he arrived at her house, the mood was altogether somber. The sky visible through the windows in Julia's house was grey as was the color of her skin. Things had been different between them since that incident. Eli still loved Julia, but a certain spark in their love was absent. Everything had become so _serious._ Eli who was constantly preoccupied with the thought of losing the girl he loved, rarely ever spoke a word to Julia anymore. He was always afraid that one snarky comment would drive her over the edge and make her hurt worse than she already did. Julia became fascinated with the idea of living on the edge: Living so close to death that she could taste its bitter poison. She had not stopped cutting herself since Eli caught her a week before, despite what she told him. Because Eli checked her wrists everyday for more scars, she had taken to cutting her shoulders, around and near her neck. Julia knew she felt a sense of self-hatred, but she didn't know what she loved more: the attention or the pain. Oh, how she loved the way Eli kissed up her wrists, as if to kiss her pain away. She could feel his lips against her pulsing veins as he looked up at her, smiling. It was in those moments that she felt like she had a purpose. That she and Eli were meant to make each other happy; to keep each other company: two lonely souls seeking refuge in each other's empty hearts.

Julia opened the pantry and pulled out a jar of Nutella and a loaf of bread.

"Do you want anything to eat, Eli?" She asked politely, but void of any emotion.

"Yeah I'll have a sandwich, too. Thanks." He mumbled.

She grabbed four slices of bread and two plates, laid two slices on each plate, and began to spread the Nutella on both of their sandwiches without so much as looking at Eli.

Eli watched her across the island, admiring the way her forehead crinkled as she looked down at the plate, as if it was a complicated calculus problem. He didn't care if they had hit a rough patch in their relationship, her mannerisms were still funny and he couldn't help but giggle.

Julia looked up at him and frowned, trying to hold back her own laughter.

"What?" she accused, staring at Eli intently.

"Nothing. It's just that you look so… so serious. You're only making a sandwich, you know." He scoffed.

"Maybe it's just a sandwich. But this sandwich could be the best one you've ever tasted. It could change your life, Eli!" She joked.

Julia set the Nutella-coated butter knife on the counter and looked up at Eli. When their eyes met, they both burst out laughing. They continued to giggle until they had both forgotten what was so hilarious to begin with. It was funny how something so simple could break the ice between them.

Julia positioned her plate in front of her and slid the other across the counter toward Eli, who caught it, immediately picking up the sandwich between his hands. He brought it closer to his mouth, and just when he was about to take a bite, he noticed Julia's eyes fixated on his face.

"What?" he questioned.

"First bite." She said "I have to know what you think!"

He took the first bite and chewed, suggestively glancing over at Julia, whose eyes were glimmering with curiosity. "So…?" She asked.

"Mmmm. Life-changing!" He answered, sarcasm evident in his voice. They both giggled.

They both sat in silence for a while thereafter, too busy chewing to carry on a conversation. Suddenly, a soft _pitter patter_ was heard on the roof, and it quickly turned to loud thumping. Julia's eyes glimmered with excitement as she looked up from her empty plate. Eli met her eyes with a questioning glance of his own. Julia gave him a devious smile and flew out the double doors of the kitchen onto the outdoor patio.

"Julia what are you doing!" he called after her "It's pouring rain outside, you'll freeze!"

"Can't keep up with me, Goldsworthy?" she called back as she ran further into the woods behind her backyard.

"Is that a challenge?" he cried over loud thundering, but there was no reply. He chased the moving shadows in the wet forest for what felt like hours, but was probably only a few minutes, searching for Julia in vain.

He stopped for a moment and placed his hands on his knees to rest, when suddenly a shadow darted at him from behind one of the trees.

"Boo!" Julia screamed and Eli stuttered backwards, slightly caught off guard.

"J-Julia!"

"Just couldn't run fast enough could you?" Their eyes locked and they both giggled.

"Don't you just love the rain?" said Julia "It's so calming. I could just forget everything right now" Eli touched the tip of her nose and she scrunched it in response.

She looked up at Eli for a short moment until he wrapped my arms tightly around her, pulling her in for a kiss. Their lips met like many times before, but it was unlike any other kiss they'd shared. It lacked the forcefulness of the first kiss that night at the party and the vulnerability of the night Eli had found Julia in the bathroom. It was soothing. It was calm. It was perfect.

Eli pulled away and Julia's teeth began to chatter from the bite in the air.

"Let's go inside before we both catch a cold." He said.

They ran back from the woods into kitchen and huddled together when Eli closed the doors behind them.

"Our clothes are drenched! You and your stupid ideas, Jules!" teased Eli. She stuck her tongue out at him and he scrunched his nose.

"Why don't we put our clothes in the dryer and snuggle in the living room until we both warm up again?" she suggested, smiling sweetly.

"Sounds good." He smirked.

Julia changed into a long button down flannel shirt that had been folded on top of the dryer and threw her wet jeans and t-shirt into the dryer along with Eli's. Eli however, with nothing to change into, remained in his boxers, which Julia found amusing. She giggled, and he blushed with embarrassment.

They both raced to the couch, blankets and pillows trailing behind them. There, they huddled underneath the layers of blankets and pillows, clinging to each other and trying to get warm as fast as possible. Julia grabbed the TV remote from the armrest.

"What do you wanna watch?" She questioned Eli.

"Is there anything scary on?"

Julia frowned and Eli smiled back. "Why don't we watch a romance?"

"Fine. You pick the movie." Eli said as he wrapped his arms around her waist and moved his head toward her to nuzzle her neck.

What they both felt in that moment, neither was sure, but something about it felt so _right._ They had lost themselves in the rain; their pain and emotion washed away by its thick, watery droplets, leaving behind only the raw love they both craved. The love that existed in every fiber of their being; in every cell in their blood. The calm of the rain had taken away Julia's hindering thoughts of self-harm and Eli's worries and allowed them to just _love._ Even if it was only short-lived, Eli loved the way the rain left everything forgotten but the light in her eyes and the flush in her cheeks. That night she became the girl he loved again, and he thanked the rain.


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